Overcoming Obstacles


Aka How to Quit Being a Giant, Excuse Making Bitch

My mantra this year is all about not making excuses. Excuses are like the guards of comfort zone that try to keep you inside. I imagine them to be big greek god types that yell, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS” when you get close to reaching a goal. What a bunch of dicks, right? Excuses are just another form of obstacles for me, but I’m going to try to break it down. There are plenty of different obstacles people face so I’ve pick a few big ones to walk you through.

Your Brain and Why It Hates You

Ok, your brain doesn’t hate you because mom always told me you shouldn’t hate anything. However, it might feel like your mind it ready to go to war with you. There’s your goal, all shiny and pretty, and your brain might say things like:

“Bro…you don’t need all that…we cool here.”

“Nah, you can’t do that.”


Or maybe you’ve experienced all three at once. It’s real fun. The fact is, you need to make a commitment to your goal if you want to achieve it. You can tell your best friend Stephanie all about your dreams but if in the back of your head you’re doubting yourself–then you’re going to experience this turmoil. Think about why your thoughts are going in these directions. The comfort zone is called that for a reason. Sure, you can stay there, but are you constantly looking at that exit sign? Maybe it’s time to push. Start small. Create a list, start small. What’s one thing you can do today? Make it super easy and something you KNOW you’ll do. I know I’m going to take a shower, so I put that on my list. Building in small guaranteed victories on your list will help your confidence and help your brain be a bit more positive.

Your Friend Janice and Why She’s Not Your Friend

Take a look at your circle. You’ve probably got a few friends you’ve had for a long time, some new ones, work ones, or even some family. I’ve personally made a commitment to put energy into people who put energy into me. Are you putting energy into black hole friends? I’m not talking about those friends going through a rough time right now that will bounce back in a month, I’m talking about that friend that consistently has issues. I think it’s good to be supportive of those you care about, however, it’s not your job to care for them. Let me repeat that, it’s NOT your job. Surround yourself with people who inspire you, love you and support you. If they don’t fall into those categories or something similar then they’re not your friend. You might feel bad, in fact, I guarantee it. We want to please everyone, but it is impossible. Put your energy into people who give it back. You have enough of a mental battle on your own, you don’t need to fight someone else’s.

Your Bank Account, Your Job and Why They’re Huge Pains in the Ass

Ah, yes. Here’s one of the biggest obstacles I face. You see that dream? You know where you’re free to do what you love? Look how happy you are! You’re skinny because you have time to workout. Look at your skin! You aren’t stressing and now you’re getting eight hours of sleep! You’re just so happy! You get to do what you love everyday….and then you wake up. Most of us can’t just drop everything and pursue this life. If you are lucky enough to be in the job you love or be financially free, then there’s a good chance you aren’t reading this anyways. The rest of us, living paycheck to paycheck go work our full-time jobs to be able to spend a small amount of time going after our goals. I have to work. I don’t hate what I do, but it’s not my dream. Someone once told me to work so you can support your play. The important thing is to find something that you’re not miserable at. You can’t avoid this unless you’re Princess Caroline or win the lottery. Find a job that fulfills at least one or two of your buckets. Do you need to work with your hands? Do you like being off at 3 p.m.? Or for me, it’s finding some creative freedoms. It’s not 100% but know that you’re working towards something. I think it’s so important to have financial freedom. Think about how much you worry about money–what if that wasn’t an issue? I’d have so much time to worry about other things! Do not live your life dependant on credit cards or someone else’s income (this can vary depending on your stage in life). Make a plan to erase debt, I won’t go into too much detail here on the how, google that shit or I’ll write something to help. Look it how you’re spending your money, merely budgeting can be a real eye opener. You can easily spend a hundred dollars a month on coffee and fast food. If it’s not something you NEED then dump it or be able to pay cash for it. Get rid of this obstacle! It’s going to take time and it’s going to suck eating leftovers but the future you will thank the broke-ass you.
In the end, making a fucking plan. If you know you’re going to have excuses and obstacles then beat them to the punch. If you know you suck at getting up early in the morning and going to the gym, go at night. If you know you’ll go to Starbucks get your thermos out. If you know you’re going to panic about talking to someone, practice what you’re going to say ahead of time. PLAN AHEAD. Like to fly by the seat of your pants but never get anything done? Reconsider your methods. Make a list, remove negativity, and write shit down.

Don’t give yourself an opportunity to have an obstacle. Destroy those motherfuckers before they even see you coming.


Following Your Dreams and Letting Go of Expectations


aka Quit Being a Lazy Shit and Tell People to Fuck Off 

It’s not easy finding a creative outlet.

I sell title insurance by day and write by night (and sometimes early morning). Spending forty plus hours a week in the financial world can break a creative soul down. It’s important to not let your passions go by the wayside just to pay the bills. It’s a lesson I learn daily. I grew up wanting to be a veterinarian, a fashion designer, and then a teacher, or at least this is what I told all of the nosy adults who asked. When I was in sixth grade I discovered writing and then in eighth grade romance novels. By high school, I had it in the back of my mind that I wanted to be the next Nora Roberts (arguably the most successful romance author out there).

It only took me sixteen years to publish my first romance novel and it was self-published. If you’ve ever sent your writing or any type of creative work “in.” You know that it’s a terrifying process and being turned away can be devastating.

This leads me into why I’m here.

Every day I’m reminded that I’m not following my passion to its fullest extent. There are a few tiers on how people follow passions. It’s an upside down triangle and none of it’s good or bad–it’s just how I see it. The bottom is the small amount of fulfillment and least amount of effort you put into your calling. Then the widest portion at the top is you giving it 100% and see the most success come out of it. Granted, just because you’re giving your all to something does not mean you’ll see success from it. It’s so important for your mental well being to know your passions are there to feed your soul–not necessarily your pockets. Figure out what success looks like to your soul, mind, and heart.

If you won the lottery and money was no option, how would you live your life? What do you see yourself doing? That dream or that vision is your passion coming to life in a daydream. For me it’s having a flat in Paris, traveling the world, and writing. All of your life you, the people around you, even the media set expectations for you. What if you didn’t worry about what your parents expected of you, or your friends, or even your enemies? What if you only worried about what you thought you?

That’s the journey I’m currently on. I go from “I do what I want” to “is it OK if I blink” in 2.1 seconds. This is about pushing myself to go after not only what I want but what I deserve. We deserve our dream life, we just need the courage to go after it.